But while women in particular are suffering from competence hangovers, I think the seduction (and trap) of competence can be universal – because competence is wonderful. Discussing how we fell for our partners with friends recently, I explained that my now-husband swiftly and efficiently acquired, then installed, a telly for me in my sad studio flat, fashioning an aerial from a fork. A’s partner had rigged up a complex, brilliant stereo system for her flat, and H’s now-husband produced an extravagant vodka ice luge for her house party. It’s delightful and relaxing to feel secure in the knowledge that a competent person has your back.